Two weeks

It's been two weeks since the miscarriage was confirmed.  Every day is a little easier, though some days are still terrible.  I have learned a lot in the past two weeks.  When someone has a miscarriage, they either don't say enough, or they say too much.  Maybe before this, I would have fallen in either of those categories.  Now, however, I know there is nothing anyone can say that will make you feel any better.  The best thing to say is I'm sorry and leave it at that.  Please don't ask "Why did it happen?" More than likely, the doctors don't know why it happened and I certainly do not know.  Nor does it make me feel better for you to tell me, "There was something wrong with the baby." Yes, probably so, but I already know that and don't need to hear that from every person that sees me.  "Theres a reason", that too does not help.  In my head, I know theres a reason, but in my heart I am missing this tiny baby that didn't get the chance to come into the world.  Yes, it was very early, but it doesn't mean that I hurt any less.

Please don't get upset with me when:
1. I don't want to go to your child's birthday party.  This would be very hard on me at this point and I just can't do that to myself.
2. I don't want to go to a baby shower.  This hole in my heart is still very open and it would be very difficult for me to make it through a baby shower without shedding a tear.  Remember I've not gotten the chance to have a baby shower and  to be so excited about expecting a baby. My baby became an angel much to early for a baby shower.
3. I want to be alone.  Sometimes that's all I'm going to want to do, is sit at home with my husband and dogs.  This is where I'm feeling my comfort these days.  I don't want to go shopping, where everywhere I look is a baby or a pregnant woman.

Just remember, sometimes I need to talk about it.  And I'm not just going to forget this baby tomorrow, Give me time to grieve.  And please don't tell me I need to get over it. If you've ever had a loss in your life, you will understand it is not easy to "get over it."